Four Years Ago...

...I held Erin Joy for the first time. Happy Family Day, sweet Erin Joy! I love you! Tonight as she placed a fourth ornament on her adoption I just wanted to squeeze her and hold her close forever...she is growing so fast.


Dear Erin Joy,

I held you for the first time on May 29, 2005.  I had loved you and wanted you so badly as I navigated through the long paperwork process.  Waiting for you was incredibly hard as I looked at your picture for almost a year before you were finally in my arms.

I remember that day so well.  At first, you were indifferent to the changes happening in your life, however, after a few hours the crying began.  I didn't know a child could cry so long.  One night as you continued to cry uncontrollably, three year old Rachel said, "Maybe she needs her mom." I was your mother!!  You didn't want me.  Watching you mourn was really hard.  You had a very hard transition.

Looking back on those early days, it is hard to imagine my sweet, loving, caring, and gentle daughter so terrified and so upset.  You truly are a different child than you were four years ago.

Sweet Erin Joy...how I love being your mother.  Your name fits you well.  JOY.  You have brought so much joy into my life.  You are so full of joy and happiness.  You bring joy to others.  I find such joy knowing you and loving you.

Thank-you for joining our family, Erin Joy!  Happy Family Forever Day!  I love you so much.  I am so grateful you are my daughter.

I made this little movie about a month ago and uploaded it to Youtube.  It has already had 43 views.  If you were one of them, I guess you don't need to watch it again.